onlygirl67

what food has meant to me:

comfort

recreation

happiness

fulfillment

anticipation

joy

What I want food to mean to me:

fuel to function

nutrition for my body

So my question is; will I ever get there? I have made dramatic changes and great strides  but wish I could understand why, within just about everyday, there is some sort of battle regarding food intake.      Growing up, other family members seemed to have such a balanced view of food,  My mom and older brother at times would even “forget to eat”.  I recall being envious of this. I also recall being as young as 7 at the dinner table with my parents chuckling and saying, “Shannon, the food’s not going anywhere.” As they gazed upon mountains of food I had placed upon my plate. I recall thinking,”But it is so good, I want to make sure I get enough.”  I was never overweight (until recently) so it wasn’t an issue…more just a family joke.  Is it really just a physical thing? Am I somehow wired to receive too much delight from the taste of food? Or is it emotional?  Was I trying to fill some kind of void?  In my younger years life was good and carefree.  Why did I behave as if I had been raised during the Great Depression and now had to hoard food?, or as if I had a dozen siblings with which I needed to vie for food?  These are things I hope to figure out.  Perhaps there is no answer to be found…just the realization that I am no longer at a place in my life where it is okay to pile mountains of food upon my plate!