onlygirl67

Today is my 6th year wedding anniversary.  This is an ode to an imperfect, stubborn, bungling man who has done nothing but enhance my life and make me a better person.  The best thing is, I have done the same for him-which is the recipe for a great relationship.

I spent years dabbling in a few wrong relationships with all the wrong types of men.  Then I spent years alone. And then I met an honest,decent, funny, quirky man,named Phil, who hired a bagpipper to meet us in a park when he proposed to me.

Here is why he deserves to be mentioned on a weight loss site: Honesty! There were many great aspects to my childhood but one thing was at a premium in our home, and that was “productive honesty”.  It was better to say what wanted to be heard so as not to rock the boat or offend.    Of course, this became a part of me…how I operated and what I expected.  When my husband saw the way my family operated he addressed it right away. At first I was aghast. “It’s always been that way,Phil. Accept it and back off.”  Then I opened my mind and started seeing what he was talking about and started to slowly change. There was wisdom in his words. And I respected him enough to listen.

So, after a couple of years of marriage I began to gain weight.  When I brought it up to him I was waiting to hear, “Oh no you haven’t. You look great.”  Instead, in his calm manner, Phil either gently acknowleged it or remained silent.  I did not take that well.  I turned it into a “you don’t love me anymore because I’m heavy” tirade. He didn’t take the bait.  He didn’t fall into line and say what I wanted to hear. He knew what I needed!   This style of honesty made me grow up, take accountability, and finally take charge. So that when I found Buddyslim I was ready to embrace it.

This realization came full circle last night at dinner.  I made a baked stew that was crazy good.  I ate my portion, Phil ate his double or triple portion, I packaged the left overs and then did something hubby hasn’t seen me do in months: started mindlessly digging in to the bowl of leftovers. He watched me for a couple of seconds them calmly said, “what are you doing?”   It made me stop, laugh, set the food down and thank him.  Just 6 months ago I would have bit his head off and then let him know how hurt and offended I was.  But now I see the beauty and value of his honesty.

Sure he can get on my nerves and I’m sure he forgot to buy me a card today…but hey the gifts he’s given me are things that will last forever. Thank you Phil.