onlygirl67

this will be the first diet of mine where ’slow and steady’ is the theme.  my mom always had the mentality of quick weight loss.  she once led me through losing 10 lbs. for my brothers wedding. man, i looked great….but, we all know the drill : less than a month after the wedding it was all back.  perhaps it worked for my mom, but she didn’t love and dream about food the way i do.  i have done alot of reading and research and i do believe the slower i lose the pounds the more i am changing my lifestyle and they will stay off!      by the way, i drank 90 oz. of water yesterday…pee’d and pee’d but felt great.

last night as my husband and i sat down to eat dinner i proudly announced to him, “all my food is already premeasured and on my plate, so the rest is yours.”  we sat enjoying the food…pretty soon my plate was empty and i started staring at the rice pilaf still in the pan..it was so good.  i wanted more so i got up to recalculate where i was with calories and if i cut back on my late nite snack i could have another scoop of rice. i must have stood there feverishly working my pencil for longer than i thought because when i got back to the table ALL the rice was gone sitting on my husbands plate! i let out a laugh, my hubby looked at me with a ? on his face and i drank a glass of water instead.

if i make it through tomorrow staying within my caloric intake that will be the first time i have gone for 7 straight days in a LONG time.  i am actually pretty excited.  i even feel full right now…at my ‘normally weakest’ time…  i have no desire to eat. of course, i am not dillusional - i know chances are tomorrow night i’ll be on here begging someone to get my mind off of food! (tee hee)   now i need to stay focused and not kick back.  gonna do it this time!!!!

here I am lingering…reading other posts, distracting myself…from the fact that I want to EAT.  If I go to bed now without another tasty morsel passing my lips I will have done great today.  I am looking at what others have to say -analyzing their struggles; and feeling a kindred spirit with most. The hope is that this will lead me straight to bed~not the kitchen. I think it will work.  The thing is; I usually go to bed at 11:00 and it is only 10:30.  I could go to bed early…read a book.  Why not?  husband will think it odd…then again he’s watching baseball and might not even miss me at all. (ha!)   Feeling better, at this point all I want is a small glass of water and I think I’m good.  Good night.

thank God it’s Monday. weekends are SO difficult for me to watch what I eat.  That is when fam and friends get together, my husband wants to go out, etc.  it is the easiest time for me to say,” what the heck! i don’t want to be a party pooper”. Then I lose all control and just eat whatever. I can see i need to come up with good strategies to deal with these occasions….(hhmmm…like telling myself NO!..don’t get the hamburg on the menu, get that salad with vinagrette dressing!)  Realistically, that won’t happen right now so i just need to stay away.  I did have an experience that showed how impt. it is for me to plan meals ahead: Sunday, I had a headache and my husband lovingly said,”don’t worry about dinner, let’s just order a pizza.”  Alarms went off in my head…”Warning!”  then a little voice inside me said, “mmmm…pizzza…sounds good.”  Fortunately I had already bought fixins for a simple lo cal, yummy meal and could say to my husband, “no need to order out tonight, i got it covered.”   That made me feel so good.  Now i start the week in a good frame of mind.  It has been awhile since I’ve stayed within my calorie intake for more than 6 days in a row; so when I make it thru Wed. this week i will be one happy chick! And i WILL do it!

I forgot to mention in my last entry how grateful I was to come home yesterday to such a nice welcome from members here.  It spurred me on to actually type in my current weight! (gasp!)  don’t laugh…that was a big deal for me. 

hey, I just figured something out.  I was wondering why, when I have supportive people around me,(husband, friends) am I going to a web site to get help in losing weight?  It is because previously when friends and family knew I was working on losing weight I would feel a certain pressure to show results.  For me that backfired.  I have joined this site without anyone in my life knowing.  I started my calorie counting and exercise regime yesterday without anyone knowing.  I went to the grocery store today and bought healthy, lo cal food, without anyone knowing.  Perhaps with the pressure off and my new “secret support” I will once and for all have success!

okay, the fact that I have never blogged before could be why I am nervous….but methinks it has more to do with the fact that I am feeling exposed.  Never did I think I would have to join a community to help me lose weight.  I guess I am desperate.  i falter between,”just go with it- you’re not THAT heavy…enjoy life, enjoy food…keep buying bigger clothes.” to, “Come on! this was NOT a problem until about 4 years ago.  Get a grip.  You know you will feel better and enjoy life more.”   I really do want to lose weight.  For so many reasons…..what will it take?  I lose 5 lbs. get happy about it and then put it back on.  I want to figure out what stops me from continuing.  it could be a simple as : I LOVE FOOD!”  My mom would lovingly say, “you really do live to eat.”  However, it could be deeper.  My weakest moments are before bed.  i find, oddly enough, I hesitate to go to bed unless I have eaten something satisfying.  Many times i do good the whole day and blow it right before bed.  Anyway, i do hope this site helps me.